The new trend in Spain for relationships that worries single people

The new trend in Spain for relationships that worries single people
The new trend in Spain for relationships that worries single people

In recent years, the evolution of interpersonal relationships has given rise to the emergence of new terms and behaviors which describe specific behaviors in the romantic sphere. We are no longer just talking about all the forms of love that have emerged as a sign of freedom, but about certain behaviors that, by having a name, we can address them and, above all, identify them.

And if there is something that happens in relationships no matter how much time passes, it is that We are blinded by emotionsLove prevents us from perceiving the faults, defects or contradictions of the other person and it is all these concepts that little by little make us open our eyes, even for behaviors that we believed were not harmful.

We have heard of ghosting, orbiting or banksysing; however, in recent months the trend that predominates in the negging, an emotional manipulation tactic that has gained notoriety and concern in Spain, especially in relationships. Both those that have just started and those that have been consolidating for years.

What is ‘negging’?

The term negging It is a contraction of the English expression “negative compliment” or its translation into Spanish, negative compliment. It refers to an emotional manipulation tactic that consists of making ambiguous comments that seem like compliments, but actually contain hidden criticism or insults.

The popularization of the term is attributed to Erik von Markovik, a “pick-up artist” who promoted the negging as a technique to attract women by confusing them about the man’s intentions. According to their interpretations, these types of comments would make the woman think that no effort is being put into impressing her, which, paradoxically, would make her more interested.

He negging It manifests itself through comments that, at first glance, may seem like flatterybut they contain subtle criticism or insults: “I’ve always preferred blondes, but I love you for the way you are”, “You look very pretty like this, plump so that the wrinkles don’t show”, “What a pretty dress, but don’t you think it’s a bit daring?”…

All these types of comments are designed to make the person feel insecure and seek the manipulator’s approval, creating an unbalanced power dynamic in the relationship. The goal, although it may seem contrary, is to undermine the other person’s self-esteem, generating insecurity and emotional dependence.

Even if they are simple comments, the truth is that this behavior can have devastating effects on self-esteem and the mental health of the person receiving it. This tactic makes the other person doubt their worth, feel inferior and constantly wait for the comment to be —finally— good.

According to a study conducted by the dating platform Badoo, the negging It is the toxic behavior that most affects the confidence of Spanish singles when meeting someone, affecting 28% of respondents and causing many of them to not date again after experiencing this tactic.

Image of a couple on a date.


He negging can lead to very unhealthy relationships, where positive communication and honesty are replaced by contempt and manipulation. And, among the reasons why it occurs so often, is the difficulty in identifying it.

The subtle and covert nature of this manipulation tactic makes it difficult to detect and allows the behavior goes unnoticed over long periods of time. Furthermore, normalizing this type of behavior can lead to widespread acceptance of emotional manipulation in relationships, perpetuating a cycle of abuse and dependency.

How to protect yourself from ‘negging’

All types of toxic behavior must be identified and acted upon. The consequences of negging are multiple and can have an impact profound both in the short and long term, not only in the victim’s current self-esteem, but also in the future.

Protect yourself from negging requires being attentive to the comments you receive, as well as establishing clear boundaries in relationships. The ideal is learn to recognize when we are being victims of this emotional manipulation tactic: if a comment that is intended to be a compliment makes us feel uncomfortable, it is a clear sign.

At that point and although it may seem complicated, we have to make our partner known that these types of comments are not beneficial. It is essential to make it clear that we are not willing to tolerate behavior that makes us feel less.

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