Xuan Lan did not seek to be a yoga reference. She is not the main ambassador of spirituality, self-knowledge and mindfulness in Spanish speaking, with a couple of million followers on social networks, several published books and a pioneering payment platform. This Parisian, disenchanted with a personal and professional career limited to the rigors of the corporate world in a position in digital banking, decided to kick the board. “I discovered this path because I wanted to know myself better and I ended up finding a life purpose for myself,” adds the teacher and wellness expert based in Barcelona. With her new book, The good Vietnamese daughterLan delves for the first time into her personal history as the guiding thread of her teachings and invites the reader to reflect with her on her own life path.
You maintain that writing this book has been therapeutic for you.
What we often do with a psychologist, review each decision since childhood, I have done alone. Remembering all these elections has been a difficult task not only of memory, but also of acceptance and recognition of errors. I have asked my parents for permission to tell this story, I have spoken to my sister because for many years we were very separated and she has helped me reconnect with them. Now they ask me to read the book, so I have to find a good French translator.
And why title it ‘the good Vietnamese daughter’?
In France, the wave of Vietnamese immigration integrated very well into society because it was very calm and discreet. The children are good students, they work well, they are quiet and don’t make noise… it’s a cliché there. I was always a good Vietnamese daughter because I did what my parents told me and I never had a teenage crisis. My rebellion came late, when I left a stable job to be a yoga teacher. People have their teenage crisis at 14 and I had it at 35. I decided that I didn’t want to work in the financial world anymore and that I was going to do whatever I wanted.
When you left the path set by your parents, did you become the bad Vietnamese daughter?
No. They respected it, but they didn’t understand it. They had never approached the world of yoga and, honestly, there were no comments. They didn’t tell me, ‘Good luck daughter, I hope it goes well for you.’ Only silence and respect, they didn’t understand it. Acceptance came a little later.
You say that Asian modesty is not a myth and that there were no kisses or hugs in your house. How do you handle the displays of affection towards you from so many thousands of followers?
With age I have adapted, but it is shocking. Above all, in Latin America, people like to touch and hug tightly. When after a master class there are 200 people waiting to give you a hug, it is difficult. It’s not natural for me to hug strangers so lovingly, but I receive so much gratitude and energy that I enjoy them. It ends up being a very important gift.
After having become such a media figure, is there anything left of that introverted girl from your childhood?
I’m still shy. When I am surrounded by many people it is difficult for me to look them in the eye and I prefer to go unnoticed. When I get on stage I transform, as happens to actors, but I am not a person who opens up easily, not even with my friends. I don’t talk much, I don’t usually talk about my emotions and my problems. Thanks to the work of personal growth and spiritual development I have managed to open up a little more. I am a better version of the same Vietnamese girl.
With Vietnamese origins and after living in Paris, New York or Barcelona, what place do you call home?
My home is Spain, clearly. I have been here for many years, but I feel like a citizen of the world. I prefer to avoid borders and, now that everyone travels, we realize that we need each other. In Buddhism there is a concept that is interdependence. One person has grown the cotton for the garment you wear, another has spun it, another has made it, another has transported it to you and another has sold it to you in a store. They are people from, perhaps, five different countries, that you will never meet. That’s why there are no borders: we need them, we are interdependent and we have to respect each other.
Many knew you for the first time because of your time as a yoga teacher in Operación Triunfo. How did the program change your life?
OT opened me up to a younger audience. Most of my students are adults, so I never had such strong attention from young people as in those days. People recognize me everywhere now, but they approach me with a lot of respect and it is very gratifying when they tell you that their life has become better thanks to you. A few days ago I met Amaia by chance at a party, we talked about my book and her upcoming album, and I was very excited to see her. She has a purpose in life, the song, and she has always known it. We live better when we know why we get up, when we have a reason to do so.
You argue in the book that the inner journey matters more than the final destination, but we all seem to have a very specific goal in our minds.
The problem is that we focus on what is happening outside: the lives of others, social networks, the famous people who have the most money, the biggest car… Always looking outside causes what stimulates us to be what we don’t have. and creates frustration. We should look more inward and be grateful for having a job, children, a house, parents… that would make our lives much more fulfilling. Find the present moment and enjoy it; not always looking at the objective and the goal. But it’s not easy, you have to go against the flow.
It gives the feeling that your life is perfect, always balanced and under control. Help us take it apart: is there something Xuan Lan is doing wrong?
I’m not a great cook and when I invite a lot of people to my house I don’t manage it well either, I’m not a very outgoing person. Of course I have stress with a company of 15 employees with many meetings and reports to fill out. Even right now I have a dog at home that I love, but she has taken me out of my comfort zone because, since she is a puppy, she forces me to clean the floor three times a day (laughs). People think everything is perfect because I don’t talk about my personal life. I don’t talk about my sorrows and my joys, I don’t show my house or how I have breakfast in my pajamas; My mission is to spread yoga. I want to provide something of interest to my followers, I’m not here to tell them that I made a coffee today.
You lived in New York at the time of the wolves of Wall Street. Did you feel attracted to that lifestyle?
I was never part of their tribe, but it was fascinating to see such young people spending so much money in stores or when they were out partying. Fascinating, but also scary. My parents always instilled in me that the value of effort, of working to earn money and enjoying it is important. Earning too much money, too easily, too quickly is not natural. I never got very close because I couldn’t keep up with him either. They didn’t envy me.
What have you learned about yourself or your family from writing this book?
There are anecdotes from my relatives in Vietnam that have been a discovery. Each one had to find a way to get out of there at a time when either you left or you had to stay forever. Some succeeded, others did not. Sometimes we complain about immigration and we hear a lot of news, figures on television… but the life of someone fleeing war is tremendous. You have to have lived it to understand it about arriving in a country without resources and starting your life from scratch.
For a long time yoga has had a posh reputation. Do you miss more students belonging to the middle and lower class in your classes?
Yoga has never been an activity for wealthy people. There have always been free classes in the streets and on the beaches, and it has a hippie touch of the flower power culture and the first yogis of the seventies and eighties. Yoga has been more economically accessible than, for example, Pilates, but teachers were not always available. Now they are everywhere. I have a paid platform with a lot of content (XLY Studio), but I keep my YouTube channel public for those who can’t afford a monthly fee.
