Someone once said that one does not enter literature by chance, but by the need to tell a story. Since her pregnancy was announced, Cristina Pedroche has not stopped sharing through social networks how it was the pregnancy process, the birth of the little girl last summer and her long and hard postpartum period; Laia’s story has been narrated by her mother even before the baby opened her eyes. All the stories that make up the last year and a half come to concentrate on Thanks to fear. A story of bravery, discovery and unconditional love (Planet).
His book is an outburst of confessions that emerge when he opens the drawer of his memories with an ink lockpick. And what he finds among so much painful reminiscence is love, passion for his daughter and despite everything: from a magazine exclusivewho stole the news of the pregnancy from her own parents, to the comments of quite a few people who made the Vallecana believe that being her offspring was a sentence.; Among all, an anecdote that ended up breaking her.
“I have come this far”
It happened when Laia was barely two and a half months old. Pedroche lay down to breastfeed the girl; her lack of sleep caused her to fall asleep and the girl to fall to the floor. “I felt like the worst mother in the world for falling asleep. Her little body had slipped between the bed and the co-sleeping crib. “I can’t get rid of the image of her crying, so small, on the floor.”he leaves it written in the book, cruel ramblings and unfair musings later appearing in his mind: “How had I been able to fall asleep, what kind of mother was I? She did not stop lashing out at me and apocalyptic ideas shot up in my mind that blocked me.”
The obsession with the event was such that she even thought that her days as a mother were over. “They are going to take it away from me. She’s already here, I’ve come this far: two months. I’m dying”, expresses, without exaggeration, the pain that took over his being. It was, in fact, a point already made: “When he fell, my whole world fell apart. The little bit that she had built in two months went to shit. I had to start from scratch or from less than two hundred”.
That episode caused a red line of Pedroche’s mental health to be brutally crossed; He required psychological and psychiatric help, and, as the days went by, he began to learn to live with his insecurities. “Now, as time has passed, I have built myself up again, but I still feel very fragile”he says, then recognizes the slowness of this process, whose situation he defines as “getting out of the well”: “If nothing happens, I will fall apart.”
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