“One day, on a plane, I heard one of the most famous men in the world confess to his wife that he wished he were dead. He was 30 or 40 years older than me, he was much more famous, much more successful, richer than I would have ever been, and he was miserable. I thought: Dude, that’s my future self. That’s where I’m going too.”. This is how he tells expert in happinessArthur Brooks the day he decided to change the course of his life. In the same interview -published in the magazine of the Harvard Business School-, explains how the interest of science in studying what makes us happy has grown. He himself directs the Leadership and Happiness Course from the prestigious American institution. From here he tries to create links between the social psychology and neuroscience in order to know more about human desire.
The problem of those who will never achieve life satisfaction: the hedonic treadmill
According to Arthur Brooks, today’s society has a problem: we do not know what happiness is and that leads us to make many mistakes. The most important thing is to believe that we will find the satisfaction that we long for through money, power and fame. “Sooner or later, many people become addicted to success.” According to Brooks, success works like any other addiction. “If you’re an alcoholic, you’ll never drink enough alcohol to feel full. You feel like you’ve had enough when you pass out, but the next day you want it again. That’s the nature of any addiction.” The Harvard happiness expert explains that this attitude is characteristic of those who believe they will find happiness by climbing the mountain. hedonic treadmill in which “you run and run and run, until you become deeply addicted to success, until exhaustion“, Explain.
Why we look for happiness in the wrong place according to Arthur Brooks
For him expert in happiness from Harvard Universitythe reason why so many people search for hedonic happiness you have to look for it in a process called homeostasis, that is, the tendency that our brain has towards balance. Homeostasis is responsible for adapting our body to changes in the environment to help its survival. Not only on a physical level, but also mentally. “You can’t be out of balance for long., but we are always trying to get out of it, for example, by chasing success – this is where dopamine appears – which promises us lasting satisfaction. That’s why you run on the hedonic treadmill, because your brain lies to you and he says, “Do it again. Do it again. Do it again,” he explains. The science of happiness that has prospered so much in recent years helps people break that cycle because it helps them understand the nature of true satisfaction.
What is happiness: if you know the correct answer you are closer to having a happy life
For him Harvard happiness expert There is a lot of confusion around what happiness is. Thanks to the development of the science that studies it, we know that happiness “The happiest people is the one that enjoy of their life. What do you get? satisfaction of their achievements and experiences, that is, that they enjoy after struggle and have overcome obstacles. And finally, they have a vital sensewho can define what they are alive for,” he explains in an interview with Acepress. We also know two things that they are not happiness:
- The happiness is not a feeling. “Feelings are signs of happiness, but they are not happiness. It’s like confusing the smell of dinner with dinner. You have the smell of dinner at your mother’s house and you say, ah, that’s good!, but that’s not dinner. It is evidence of the existence of the dinner you are going to enjoy later. And the same thing happens with happiness,” she explains in the interview. “Happiness produces feelings, but it is not the feelings. That’s why say I want to have positive emotionsbecause positive emotions are happiness “It’s a total mistake.”
- We cannot achieve absolute happiness. “You’re going to have bad experiences and you must have them to grow, to learn. You are also going to have negative emotions, because they are signs of what is happening outside of you -she explains- If we didn’t have these emotions, we would be dead. We need unhappiness to learn, to grow, to exist in the world, to survive. We must keep in mind that reaching absolute happiness is impossible and pursuing it will lead to a deep frustration. Always”.
Of these 3 types of people, only one will be able to have a happy life according to Arthur Brooks
According to Arthur Brooksin terms of happiness, there are three types of people:
- One, people who run on the hedonic treadmill and never realize why they never feel satisfied.
- Two, people who run on the hedonic treadmill and they do know why they do not achieve satisfactionbut they are afraid to stop running because they know that the treadmill will throw them backwards.
- Three, the people who yes they are able to get off the treadmill.
According to the expert, of these three types of people only the latter can have a Happy life. What happens then with the first two? They need a strategy that helps them jump off the hedonic treadmill. In this sense, for Arthur Brooks there are two fundamental keys: “Number one, when it comes to happiness: knowledge is power“, he explains. And, “the second thing: once you know the truth, what stops you? (…) People are afraid of change, (…) but change is the first link in a chain that you must break to be free“.
