“The pain will not go anywhere, it cannot be anesthetized; it will not go and less forever”

How to overcome pain and sadness is the big question that they are probably being asked at the same time. We all go through bad moments and hard situations, but there are those who seem not to see the end; sinking into that well that seems to have no bottom. Others, on the other hand, depart and try to ignore that pain, as if they are not part of their life, making it even bigger.

Personal development expert Borja Vilaseca speaks to all of them in one of his latest reflections on social networks, sharing the lessons he has learned about how to manage pain after more than two decades living the process himself. Vilaseca tries to summarize all those years of trial error in four simple premises, so that everything is much easier and can help others.

Pain is not the enemy, he is the teacher

“Anguish, stress, fear, suffering. We are part of a society that demonizes all this, which is what you have to patch these emotions, that you have to eradicate them, look the other way,” explains Vilaseca. “The pain will not go anywhere, it cannot be anesthetized; it will not go and less forever. Those patches, sooner or later, will explode.”

The expert advises “to turn” to this situation and turn pain into a teacher, “into the engine of your true healing, which leads you to look inside.” An act of “deep courage”, because it implies standing at your worst enemy: yourself. “To the extent that you accept it, that pain not only transforms you, but is disappearing.”

Your story does not define you

Vilaseca advises to look at our history, because although it does not define you, if you do not look at it, you can get to control you. The type of parents, how they have been prosecuted according to what circumstances … It is important to see how the past has been to avoid errors of ego in the present. “Your past does not have to define your present and much less your future. It is necessary to see it to release victimism and victimistic interpretations,” insists the expert.

The system does not want you to think, want you to repeat

“To the extent that you are awakening, you begin to question the propaganda that moves the system, what others tell you and begin to believe in yourself and follow your inner voice; freedom appears,” insists the expert, which indicates that it is when one becomes his own reference. “You will know because it will make sense to you.”

The ego is not eliminated, integrates

This hatred of the ego is false, it is something that each person invents without being aware of it, for mere survival. “It is the character you have created to survive your childhood, your pain. That defense mechanism is not who you really are, so it is so important to know you, know who you are.”

Waking up hurts, but being asleep hurts more

Vilaseca says that many adults prefer to continue looking the other way and cheating themselves, following social conventions. “They prefer to miss their lives,” he says. “Awakening is a therapeutic and curative pain. Living awake reveals your life: you are creator of your own life and the main gift of this path is happiness.”