Nikki Glaser was one of the highlights of Netflix’s Tom Brady roast, eviscerating the NFL superstar with jokes about his divorce from Gisele Bündchen and her reported new romance with Jiu-Jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente. But Glaser didn’t get to deliver every punchline she intended during the live comedy event. During a post-roast interview on “The Howard Stern Show,” Glaser rattled off some of the Brady jokes she cut from her set.
“Tom, I love your work — that you’ve done on your face,” read one of Glaser’s cut jokes about Brady’s alleged plastic surgery. “Seriously, slow down. What is happening with your cheeks? You look like a Ken doll that was microwaved. You love deflating things, so stop.”
Glaser also cut a joke about CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy), a progressive degenerative disease caused by repeated concussions that affects many NFL players.
“It’s really cool all the proceeds are going to CTE research and the NFL’s coordinated effort to cover it up,” Glaser was going to joke. “People don’t know, but it costs millions to murder those doctors who know the truth. …These guys really fucking damage their bodies and brains all for the sake of men hugging each other in a Buffalo Wild Wings.”
Part of Netflix Is a Joke Fest, the Tom Brady roast featured the former quarterback, known for his 20 seasons with the New England Patriots and three with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, taking humorous jabs from some of the biggest names in comedy. Hosted by Kevin Hart and roastmaster Jeff Ross, the event included Brady’s former teammates Julian Edelman, Rob Gronkowski and Drew Bledsoe, as well as stand-up comics Tom Segura, Andrew Schulz, Bert Kreischer, Tony Hinchcliffe, Sam Jay and more.
Glaser’s set earned widespread acclaim on social media. Her aired jokes included the following dig about Brady’s divorce: “Tom Brady. Five-time Super Bowl MVP, most career wins, most career touchdowns. You have seven rings — well, eight, now that Gisele gave her back. The only thing dumber than saying yes to this roast was when you said, ‘Hey babe, you should try jiu-jitsu.’”
One joke that Jeff Ross made that referenced Patriots owner Robert Kraft’s 2019 arrest for soliciting prostitution in a Florida massage parlor seemed to anger Brady, who stood up from his seat and told Ross: “Don’t say that shit again.” Ross has since denied that Brady was actually pissed off.
“He was having fun. You know, it’s like that’s his dad,” Ross said. “Robert Kraft is like a father figure to him, he was just showing his love for Robert Kraft. And Robert Kraft loved it. We had a great talk afterwards. He was so happy that I gave him a shoutout and a salute. “It was beautiful.”
The three-hour Tom Brady roast is now streaming on Netflix. Watch Glaser’s cut jokes in her Howard Stern interview below.
