Miguel Ángel Martín Cárdaba He is a successful university professor specialized in anthropology, psychology and communication. He just published a book about love, Why others will fail in love… but not you. It talks about what happens to the brain when it is in love and how we must take it into account to make the right decisions.
-How did you come to write the book?
-For two reasons. In my university classes I saw that many students They did not have a very defined or realistic idea of what love was.nor were there any useful reflections on the requirements necessary to find the right person to build it.
»Also, I wrote this book thinking about my children. I imagined there would come a day when they would ask me, “Is it worth getting married?” What should we know before taking that step?“.
You can buy ‘Why others will fail in love… but not you’ here.
-How do you think your book is different from other similar ones?
-There are many books on marriage for those who are already married, but In reality, there are very few that are focused on those who have not yet taken that step.…and perhaps they are the ones who need it most, because when we embark on the path of love and make fundamental decisions we never have the necessary preparation and experience
-And how did you find the answer to those questions?
-It was clear that I did not want to limit myself to giving an opinion or focus on my limited and particular experiencebut I had before me the perfect opportunity to disseminate the findings that the science of human relations and psychology have been discovering, as well as what other thinkers much more intelligent and wise than me have contributed throughout history.
You can buy ‘Why others will fail in love… but not you’ here.
-What does psychological science teach us about love?
-Science, and especially psychology, has always looked with curiosity at the phenomenon of love. And thanks to it we have been able to discover very revealing patterns. For example, It is quite clear that falling in love follows a series of more or less established phasesso someone who has not yet experienced it can predict and anticipate these experiences and, consequently, prepare to get the best out of each one.
-Is it easy to fail in love?
-The data says yes. In the West it is much more likely to fail in love than the opposite. And failing in love is serious, because the data also shows that marriage is a double-edged sword. Those who are happy in their marriage are happier than those who are single or divorced, But those who are unhappy in their marriage…those are the unhappiest of all..
-And what do you have to do to not fail in love? What is the password?
-To not fail in love you need two things, and both are difficult today. The first is to have a correct conception of what love is. A precise map that adjusts to the reality of the phenomenon. And the second is knowing how to choose who to build it with, someone who is really prepared. and trained for this task.
Miguel Ángel Martín Cárdaba is a successful university professor specialized in anthropology, psychology and communication.
-And why is it difficult to have a correct conception of love?
-It is difficult because the two currently prevailing conceptions of love in our society, the scientific perspective (love is nothing more than a set of chemical and biological reactions) and the romantic perspective (love is a captivating and unquestionable force that It is experienced as a feeling that, if true, will be eternal and will persist forever.) are incompatible with a lasting and stable love.
-And why is it difficult to choose a suitable person to build it?
-First because not everyone is qualified for marriageIn fact, fewer and fewer people are. And second, because we usually choose a partner following the wrong criteria. The characteristics that make you fall in love with a person are not necessarily the ones that will make you happy as a couple.
-How can errors be avoided?
-I like to think of this book as a kind of map that can help recognize, locate and, above all, avoid the numerous traps and dangers that lurk on the path of love. A map that can also help identify Who are the most recommended people with whom to undertake and share the path?what things are essential to put in the backpack… and, above all, where the treasure is.
You can buy ‘Why others will fail in love… but not you’ here.
