Mireia has been a clinical psychologist for 20 years and sees between 15 and 20 patients a week. In the last six months she has detected something that disturbs her: the number of queries related to dating apps.
Remember, for example, a patient whose sleep problems depended on having the application active or not. And to people who came with symptoms of anxiety due to uncertainty or distress produced by rejection and abandonment.
What effects does the matches in the brain?
Does addiction exist matches?
Organization of Consumers and Users (OCU) confirmed, for example, that one in ten Spaniards uses dating apps regularly, and that one in three of those users was addicted. A more recent report, from 2024, shows similar figures: more than four million people use these digital tools every month in this country.Taking into account the data, it is logical to think about a possible addiction to matches, even more so if it directly affects the brain reward system. On the other hand, it has been shown that uninstalling this type of application can generate a withdrawal syndrome in the person with symptoms similar to “disengagement.” of a specific substance like cocaine, for example.
And what effects does receiving a unmatch?
He unmatch is the explicit rejection of a profile after having obtained a matches prior and even having started a conversation history. This is what is known on WhatsApp or in other digital media such as ghosting. Although in this case it is one level above, since the unmatch deletes both the profile and the conversations with the person who sent it without any type of notice. It is as if the link had never existed.
Some studies have shown that it is associated with a state of disappointment, sadness and hopelessness in which one sees damaged self-esteem and the image. The rejected person may have intrusive thoughts related to punishment and guilt such as: “It’s normal that they don’t care if I’m worthless.” or “what am I doing wrong for all these things to happen to me?”
Several neurobiological investigations on rejection and abandonment have found an answer in the sadness brain circuitcharacterized by a decrease in cortical activity and involvement in other correlates of the autonomic nervous system.
A possible explanation suggests that emotional or sexual rejection activates specific brain areas such as the ventrolateral area of the prefrontal cortex and the insula, related to rejection experiences recorded at an early age.
Another possible scenario is that there is no response, nor matches neither unmatch. Here the protagonist is the anticipatory anxiety generated by uncertainty. Several authors point to this as the most disabling because it does not have a maximum limit and depends greatly on exposure to the stimulus.
Regarding the psychological and behavioral effects of this addiction, some relevant ones can be mentioned: Constantly checking your cell phone to check for news, compulsive eating and lack of appetite facing a rejection response or sleep problems waiting for a response to arrive.
In fact, they are behaviors similar to those recorded in very toxic relationships or those now known as breadcrumbingsupported by the psychological phenomenon of intermittent reinforcement.
From addiction to matches it also comes out
In managing this addiction, expectations, previous experience, level of self-esteem and certain personality traits play an important role. Set limits of time to use the app can help avoid compulsive behaviors. It is also advisable to lower expectations regarding dating that arise from our contacts, encourage genuine and meaningful conversations, as well as talk with trusted friends about experiences with the application.
Without a doubt, the way we relate has changed and our nervous system has to adapt. At that point, when not even the previous strategies prevent mental health from being affected, asking for psychological help can be the decision that saves us from addiction to alcohol. matches.