With a tinge of black humor, Richard Gadd explores in “My Stuffed Reindeer” the terrible consequences he faced, the result of unresolved traumas and neglect of his own psyche.
Last update: June 5, 2024
A young comedian feels sorry for Martha, a customer at the bar where he works, and decides to offer her a free cup of tea. This compassionate gesture, seemingly insignificant, marks the beginning of a complex and destructive bond for both. This is how the plot begins baby reindeera series known in Spain as My stuffed reindeer and one of the latest Netflix hits.
What psychological profiles are hidden behind these characters? What are the motivations for your decisions and actions? And most importantly, is it possible to prevent past traumas from affecting our relationships and contaminating our happiness? In these lines I will offer my opinion as a mental health professional. Warning: from now on, we enter the terrain of spoilers.
psychological analysis of baby reindeer: a series about obsession, bullying and trauma
The Serie baby reindeer (in English), it is not linear, predictable or categorical. Addresses sensitive topics such as grooming, traumas and interpersonal ties from a multifaceted angle, without offering simple judgments or determining definitions.
Richard Gadd, lead actor and creator of the series, used his own life experience as inspiration. He intended to create a narrative that did not precisely identify who is good and who is bad, who is healthy or who is sick. In an interview he expressed: «No person is good or bad. “We are all lost souls searching for love in our own strange way.”
The beginning of the series seems to outline a real comedy. However, as the scenes progress, the plot becomes increasingly darker and more far-fetched, leaving viewers with a latent anguish that is difficult to describe. Both Martha’s vulnerable gaze and Donny’s self-destructive decisions reflect the same thing: deep pain, in addition to trauma. There is no doubt that they both suffer, a lot.
Psychological profiles of the protagonists of My stuffed reindeer
Next, we explore the personality traits of the main characters in My stuffed reindeer, to try to understand the link between them and the motivations behind what they choose to do. Donny and Martha have a lot more in common than it seems.
It is important to note that this analysis is based exclusively on what the series presents, and not on the real case or the people involved.
Martha
In My stuffed reindeer, the character Martha (Jessica Gunning) is introduced as a successful lawyer. However, both Donny and us, the viewers, soon discover that this is not so and that in reality She is a woman who suffers from loneliness and fear of abandonment.. In her case, these wounds shape his obsession with Donny.
Due to her desperate need to feel loved, along with some hints that the comedian gives her, Martha becomes convinced that she has a stable relationship with him. He sends you 41,000 emails and 350 hours of voicemails. Furthermore, he visits him every day. He exposes himself to rain and extreme cold to wait for it. She attacks his ex-partner and harasses his parents.
There is no single disorder that causes this type of bullying behavior, as it can involve a wide variety of factors. Yes, it is true that behind a stalker profile, there are dysfunctional personality traits, such as emotional instability, low self-esteem, and the inability to accept rejection.
In turn, these characteristics may be associated with insecure attachment styles, psychological trauma or, in more situations complexclinical diagnoses such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder or a psychotic structure.
donny
Donny is an aspiring comedian who works in a London bar to earn a living. Some time ago, a well-known writer in the world of comedy encouraged him to follow his dreams in the stand-up under his mentorship. She conveyed confidence through flattery and sweet words.
But this was just a manipulation tactic to rape, harass and abuse him in every way possible. Hoping for become into a great artist, and with a destroyed self-esteem, Donny continues to encounter his abuser and is exposed to reliving these traumatic situations over and over again.
It cries out for you to look at it, listen to it, love it… Because of this need, he finds some satisfaction in Martha’s obsession with him. The tendency towards self-destruction is evident in his personality. So much so that, when he falls in love with a transsexual woman who is willing to offer him genuine and healthy love, he is unable to take care of that relationship.
Can unresolved traumas lead us to self-destruction?
As the episodes progress in My stuffed reindeer, we viewers find ourselves involved in a spiral of tension, helplessness and doubts. We question ourselves because Donny allows bullying, why does it take him so long to set limits? It is not until the sixth chapter that we get an answer from his own mouth: «I am a magnet for all kinds of crazy people. “I knew she was dangerous, but she flattered me and that was enough.”
He displays a disconcerting ambivalence about his interest in her. Sometimes he rejects her, other times he seems to go along with her. Likewise, this leads us to understand that Martha’s belief that Donny is in love with her is not entirely delusional or irrational.
It turns out that the Scottish comedian carries complex unresolved traumas, which lead him to make decisions that are difficult to understand. Their serious low self-esteem issues, rooted in atrocious experiences, feed the destructive cycle of self-sabotage and distrust. He clings to harmful relationships as a way to validate his worth, without realizing that he deserves more than he allows himself to accept.
People have different ways of dealing with pain. This implies that unworked traumas do not always lead to self-destruction. But it is undeniable that the risk is greater. The story of Baby Reindeer It reminds us of the importance of working through emotional wounds, to avoid falling into dysfunctional patterns that compromise our well-being.
My stuffed reindeer: confront, elaborate, heal
Donny begins to heal when he manages to put words to what he feels. Without planning it, in the middle of a show that does not go as expected, he bares his soul by revealing his most intimate truths in front of the public. He is sincere before the audience, but, above all, before himself.
He admits: “I loved her very much, but I loved hating myself more,” referring to the woman he fell in love with and his self-destructive tendency. In that transit, he exposes his vulnerability to raw flesh and begins to redefine its history. By confronting his deepest wounds, she takes the first step toward reconciling with his past and ultimately building a more fulfilling future.
The importance of taking care of mental health
My stuffed reindeer It alerts us to how oneself can be a victim of one’s own unresolved wounds. Martha desperately and obsessively searches for love, while Donny follows the path of self-prejudice again and again. Both are immersed in a cycle of suffering, where it seems that the dynamic between them feeds off each other.
Mental health care plays a crucial role in preventing these types of outcomes. Exploring and working on our psychological traumas with the help of psychotherapy is essential. It allows us to heal emotional wounds and strengthen self-esteem, by avoiding the need to look outside for the value that we do not find within.
Main image credit: Netflix.
