In the film ‘Imaginary Friends’, actor and director John Krasinski narrates his childhood with a friend who was a product of his fervent imagination.
A friend to not feel alone or to live fantastic adventures. A friend to face fear, such as fear of the dark, of loneliness, of entering kindergarten for the first time, knowing that mom and dad have to go to work. And when that friend is not there, the imagination remains, which can adapt it to suit him.
The actor and director John Krasinskiin imaginary friends He has chosen to tell a little about his childhood and that magic that is part of being a child. “Imaginary friends are not only adorable creations of our minds, they are also time capsules for our hopes, dreams and ambitions,” he commented during the film’s presentation. But what are they really and why do children feel the need to create them? We talked about this with Marta Rizzi, psychologist and psychotherapist with a cognitive-constructivist orientation.
“The real reason why they exist is still unknown. It is a phenomenon that can generally occur around 2 or 3 years of the child’s life, and then disappear around the age of 8, which is the age in which the child acquires a series of cognitive abilities and skills that allow him to reflect on himself and manage his emotions.
However, there are potential triggers, such as a large imagination, situations of isolation, prolonged loneliness or social and relational difficulties that can be found when children begin kindergarten. “Sometimes, the imaginary friend can also appear as a result of fear or sadness, which are the two strongest and most activating emotions.”
Is it cause for concern? “It is not something that should be demonized or something to worry about excessively,” the doctor reassured. “It can become a tool that the child uses in a transition phasea kind of gym to be able to experience relationships and to be able to communicate difficulties.” The “I.F.“(acronym for imaginary friends), as John Krasinski calls them in the film, can help the child explore their emotions, stimulate creativity, but also experience how people react to some “messages” that the imaginary friend obviously makes. They also serve to feel supported and less alone.
What if our child does not have a I.F.? “Not all children have it. There is no need to be alarmed on one side or the other. It is a phenomenon to monitor and observe, because it tells us something about our child,” said Rizzi, who advises parents. welcome the imaginary friend, do not make fun of him or deny his existencebut to understand how it is possible to replace it to provide security and support to the child.
When the I.F. stop being positive? “When it becomes invasive, persistent and pervasive, in such a way that it invalidates the child’s daily life, limits him in testing himself or exploring.” In this case, it is advisable to consult a child psychologist and a child neuropsychiatrist. “The first access may be the pediatrician, who should know how to give parents tools to listen to their child, because the first advice is to listen, that is, try to see that imaginary friend from a different perspectivewith whom the father must come into contact to get to know him and understand what his role may be,” explained the doctor. I.F.In fact, once understood, they can be allies and a great source of proactive motivation in all those “tragic” moments of the day, such as brushing teeth or leaving home.
The most cynical might not appreciate imaginary friends, because it is a film full of good feelings, a story of formation, sometimes a little predictable, but that makes the important effort of reminding us what it means to be children, which is the key to education at any age. “It is an invitation not to forget that some stages are specific, that they can be resources for children, and not to be intimidated by the presence of imaginary friends in our children’s lives,” explained Marta Rizzi.
“I wrote down two phrases from this movie that I found significant. The first is: you are never really alone. The imaginary friend is also an invitation to look at oneself and find within oneself personal resources to face difficulties, which we should not always attribute to others: we can not be alone even when we are with ourselves,” added Dr. Rizzi. “The other is: nothing you love can be forgotten. It is said as an invitation to put yourself in the place of your own child, but also to remember your own childhood. Fatherhood inevitably leads to dusting off what the parent-child relationship is, which was once lived in the role of children and today in that of parents, turning our hands to our past.”
