Lately I have been a little uneasy because I suspect that, despite the fact that the Civil Registry and my family book reassuringly assure that I was born in Logroño to blameless parents, there are serious indications that question such statements and I suspect that I must be a … extraterrestrial surreptitiously embedded in a seemingly normal family.
The suspicion took shape the last time I went to get my hair cut and, to liven up the wait, the hairdresser gave me several current magazines that I looked through with interest. Suddenly and with horror, I realized that I belong to another world.
The magazines, with hardly any text, so as not to tire the brains of their viewers, who were not readers, were full of visits to sumptuous palaces and luxurious houses, in most cases decorated with horrific bad taste, belonging to a series of nobles. , princesses and ‘celebrities’ whose existence I had no idea about.
As a complement, they included various reports about the life, miracles, pairings, unpairings and vacations of a series of men and women totally unknown to me and who were characterized by tacky aesthetics and an immoderate desire, especially in the girls, in show most of their anatomy without violating current moral codes.
And then my self-esteem suffered another hard blow, because I asked my hairdresser who those extravagant characters were. She, solicitous but with a certain disbelief and commiseration at my ignorance, clarified that they “appear” in some TV programs that I have never seen, given that I barely watch television and, in fact, there is no such device in my house. the living room or lounge. Another point against me.
With a certain shame I have to admit that I lack social networks and in reality I don’t really know what that is, nor do I have the slightest idea how one joins that field of action. I use my cell phone to call and receive calls and send some WhatsApp and I don’t have games, nor do I watch movies on it and it seems like Sanskrit to me when people more knowledgeable than me talk about screens, refresh rate, megabytes and gigabytes of the cell phone; In short, my ignorance has small gaps.
And, finally, I do not have those social skills that allow those who are in the ointment to meet one, or several friends, sit in a bar and all of them dedicate themselves to chatting via WhatsApp with other absent people, forgetting those present. Not to mention those couples who, sitting on a nightstand, take out their cell phones and spend the time talking to anyone other than their partner, whom they ignore.
In short, I am clearly a recalcitrant Martian without any intention of amendment and, furthermore, to be honest, I have to regretfully admit that I entertain myself by reading everything that falls into my hands, traveling, listening to music and, I say this with shame,! talking to my friends and even my wife!
