People who pay to eat with strangers to combat loneliness

At 37 years old, Vinícius Ogawa has adopted a new routine.

He dedicates his Wednesday and Friday nights to dining with complete strangers in different restaurants in Sao Paulo.

He does not choose his companions, much less the type of restaurant, but they are encounters that have become special for him.

“They have become moments in which I can socialize. They are always a surprise, with new people and stories,” Vinícius tells BBC News Brazil.

The idea caught his attention after seeing a post on social media.

“I love them new experiences, meeting new people and eating. That’s why I signed up.”

At these dinners, the first step is to introduce yourself, talk about your profession, your age, where you live and any other information you consider relevant.

Vinícius says that he has attended 41 dinners of this type in recent months.

“It has become my ritual,” he explains.

Dinners with strangers are offered by platforms such as Confra, created in Brazil last year, and TimeLeft, which was born in Portugal and has expanded throughout the world, including several countries in Latin America, such as Argentina, Brazil, Mexico and Uruguay.

It is sold as an alternative to combat “urban loneliness.”

“Participate in a dinner with six strangers, or better yet, six friends you haven’t met yet,” Confra announces.

The company invites you to take the opportunity to immerse yourself in “the magic of chance encounters“, have conversations you might miss, and meet people you “could never have met.”

For its part, Timeleft offers “safe moments to interact with the people around you” and “so that you become more involved in the world you live in.”

Timeleft is present in several of the largest cities in Latin America, such as Buenos Aires, Mexico City, Guadalajara, Montevideo, São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro.

It also has a presence in other cities such as Barcelona, ​​London, Lisbon, New York, Madrid, Miami and Paris.

The business is booming all over the world.

Groups of strangers are defined based on their affinities, reflected in the answers given by platform users when filling out a questionnaire about their interests.

These data are used by an algorithm that connects the six strangers in a place that he considers ideal for that group.

In this report we attend one of these dinners in a restaurant in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

The meeting place was revealed on the same day of the experience.

In the restaurant, located in an exclusive area of ​​the city, there were four tables at which four groups of strangers sat.

Each one had capacity for six people, some of whom did not attend.

Confra does not usually give prior information about strangers.

But Timeleft reveals data such as zodiac signs and professions.

When you arrive at the establishment you just have to say that you are going to dine with strangers and give your table number, which the platform sends you along with the name of the restaurant.

As a security measure, restaurants with good reviews are chosen and the platforms ask the establishments to be alert if any type of problem arises among diners.

There are safety guidelines that are usually given during dinner, such as informing friends or family that they find you there, that keep your drinks and belongings in sight and that you do not transfer money or give details about your finances to anyone.

The diners at that São Paulo restaurant were of similar ages, with an average difference of three years.

According to the platforms, in general, the majority are between 25 and 50 years old.

Women were the majority at most tables, but there was one mixed table.

Confra says that a large part of its audience (60% to 65%) is female.

In Timeleft, Men and women have almost proportional representation.

Throughout the night, some groups were louder, while others were more discreet.

Some tables got together to interact.

Several of the attendees had already participated previously and had become subscribers.

Users can choose to attend a single dinner or purchase a subscription. Prices and number of dinners vary depending on the package that is chosen and the country.

Restaurant charges are not included. Each participant must pay for everything they consume.

At the dinner in which our journalist participated, the strangers were curious and wanted to know more about their table companions.

Various topics were discussed, from trips and parties in Sao Paulo, dilemmas about motherhood and even abusive relationships.

Some talked a lot about themselves, while others preferred to listen to others.

When someone made a comment or joke that caused discomfort, someone else would always try to change the subject, and the night would continue.

To facilitate interaction, the platforms offer quiz games on different topicssome light or comical and others more serious.

But the conversation can also flow naturally.

The balance of experience usually takes into account factors such as affinity between participants, the quality of the restaurant and how much the person was willing to surrender to the experience.

At the end of dinner, participants receive suggestions for places where they can continue the night, such as bars and clubs.

Created by Frenchman Maxime Barbier, Timeleft estimates to have held more than 10,000 dinners with more than 60,000 participants around the world.

While Confra was launched in Sao Paulo by Lucas Tugas and Guilherme Ovalle, both 23 years old, in July of last year. The company says that since then almost 10,000 people have attended its dinners.

Among those who attend these dinners are people who have recently moved to the city and want to make friends or travelers who are passing through.

There are even people who recently ended a relationship and want start a new life cycle.

And also those who have difficulty socializing, something that experts say has become especially common after the confinement period of the pandemic.

Of course, there are people who are single and see it as a method of meeting someone.

The participants say that it is not unusual for couples to emerge on the tables, whether for one night or for something longer lasting.

Vinícius Ogawa, who has attended dozens of dinners with strangers, has been dating a woman he met during one of these experiences for a month.

“We met at my 33rd dinner,” he says.

He states that he did not go to dinners with the expectation of finding a girlfriend, but he did not rule out the possibility either.

Born in Sao Paulo, Vinícius lived in Fortaleza for a few years and returned to his hometown shortly before the pandemic.

He states that his main objective was meet new people in the post-pandemic world.

“The first dinner was strange, because everything was very new, people, including me, didn’t know how it worked (…) But I thought: ‘Well, at least I met five people,'” he continues.

“Things got better (at subsequent dinners) and I never stopped.”

He assures that in some of those meetings made lifelong friends.

But not all interviewees had a positive experience. Some told BBC News Brazil that they have no intention of repeating it.

“I’m going to continue meeting people using the traditional method,” concluded hypnotherapist Andreza Soares, 52, who attended a dinner with women who, she says, had nothing to do with her.

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