As I was telling you, I haven’t been paying much attention to Donald Trump’s trial. I should, but I haven’t. In that, I’m probably like most people. If he’s found guilty, he’s found guilty. Everything else is noise.
But there are related aspects of the trial that stand out to me. I mentioned one yesterday: his weird call out to supporters to “protest” more. Another is Trump’s continued attempt to sound like a tough guy even as he whines like a child. This week, he complained about being “locked up” in a courtroom while Joe Biden is on the campaign trail.
“This trial is all Biden, just in case anyone has any question. They’re keeping me in a courtroom, that’s freezing by the way, in a courtroom all day long, while he’s out campaigning. That’s probably an advantage, because he can’t campaign. Nobody knows what he’s doing. He can’t put two sentences together. But he’s out campaigning and I’m here in a courtroom… sitting up as straight as I can all day long, because you know what? It’s a very unfair situation. “We’re locked up in a courtroom and this guy’s out there campaigning, if you call it a campaign.”
You might ask: Why does this stand out, John? Donald Trump says this kind of dad all the time. To which I would say: Indeed, you are right! He has created for himself, and anyone who wishes to imitate him, an idiosyncratic vocabulary by which he manages to credibly sound manly as well as childish at the same time, somehow without one overwriting the other. Under ordinary circumstances, this is old news. But these are not ordinary circumstances. A former president is standing trial.
And this former president – who is masterful at blending boyish weakness (the courtroom is “freezing”; equal justice is “very unfair”) and manly aggression (“no one knows what Biden is doing”; he “can’t put two sentences together”) – is doing something amid these extraordinary circumstances that makes old news new again.
He’s farting.
Yo lo se. Everyone experiences the occasional fit of flatulence. Yes, I know. It’s impolite to mention when someone does. But are there any remaining taboos? The Washington press corps looked away while Franklin Roosevelt rolled by in his wheelchair. Reporters were mum about John Kennedy’s dalliances. But such restraint ended with Bill Clinton. After blowj–s (sorry), there’s really no going back, is there?
Maybe flatus is the last taboo. Even so, as some have already said, it’s still a health concern. The public is entitled to know the well-being of presidents and presidential candidates. (Kevin O’Connor, the physician to the president, released Joe Biden’s health summary in February. Bottomline: he’s in good shape.) If Trump is falling asleep in court, and if he’s “passing gas” and “his lawyers are really struggling with the smell,” that could be an indication of something, well, not good. Yes, the subject is gossipy and potentially puerile, but it’s no less newsworthy.
But there’s a better reason why something so common that everyone experiences it is newsworthy. Trump holds himself above everyone. Just ask him. He’s beyond common. He has “good genes.” Because of them, he’s super-rich and super-awesome and, basically, superhuman. This “greatness” – or this impunity for the universal rule of human frailty – undergirds the “Trump mystique.” He’s more god than man.
A god who farts.
So far, reporters haven’t covered Trump’s health condition in any serious way. Perhaps it’s the final taboo. Perhaps it just feels mean to mention it. Indeed, it would be – if Trump himself did not provide what journalists call a “news peg.” Every time he picks on Biden, he invites scrutiny of his own flaws. If you’re going to make a habit of insulting the president by calling him “Sleepy Joe” – just one of hundreds of Trump’s insults and accusations – you forfeit whatever deference to etiquette you previously enjoyed. If there’s one more taboo, Trump himself has removed it. It was his choice, not the press corps’.
Trump’s trial is getting all the attention, as it should. This is a historic moment. Will it lead to justice? I’m not so sure. Trump may well prove to be untouchable and above the law. He’s not above being human, though. This week, I have proven it. If nothing else is newsworthy, that is.
